Chapter 15

Building castles in the air

It is to fulfil our dreams of a better life at home that thousands of Keralites like us leave our near and dear ones and cross the oceans to earn money. The members of our families also started building castles in the air. I was aware of great indebtedness to many. I could hardly, enjoy the comforts of life in America. As the head of the family, I had to perform a lot of duties towards my family.

The construction of Baby's house was completed even before our marriage. My sole aim now was to bring my family under one roof. We spent frugally. The savings were sent home. Baby also worked hard to give a strong foundation to my homeless family.

When I said homeless that didn't mean only that we did not own a house to live in. We do not know anything about the ancestors of my father Vamanan Nair. The couple had migrated to Trivandrum from Neyyattinkara just for making a living. Our father has never taken us to his home town at any time. A blind brother of our father was also with us. He was a loving uncle to all of us who had helped in the tea shop in spite of his handicap. He remained the only link for us with the family of our father.

I think of the importance of the family connections only when others ask me about my family name. Our father has not entered his family name even in an important document like the ration card. Instead he wrote the name of the house in which we lived. When Others ask me to specify the family name, I would be trapped. Then I would be angry with my father. I used to ask my mother jokingly whether my father belonged to the tribe of gypsies. But mother also kept a tight-lip in this regard.

Because my maternal grandfather had a job at the museum, we could get the roots of our mother's family. But I never understood why my father cut off the roots of his family. Was it a separation following a quarrel? No proof for that also.

So I considered it as my bounden duty to gather the entire family under one umbrella. So a new house came up at Muttada in Trivandrum. So owning our dream house became a reality.

But soon I realised that my duties had just begun. My siblings had reached the marriageable age. But having now assumed the place of my father, all the burdens were on my shoulder. My mind never allowed me to keep myself away from anything. I can say boldly anywhere that selfishness was not in my blood at any time. As poet Changampuzha has written

"My failure is that I have an honest heart
In the fraudulent world"

Unselfishness has often become my weakness and failure. Thus I was respondsible for creating liabilities for myself. I gave everything I had earned for the betterment of my brothers and sisters. It so happened that in order to find means to meet the necessities, I had to sweat it out more and more. So I was compelled to find a better job and earn more income.

As a nursing supervisor, Baby earned more than me, a lab technician. I had to acquire more qualifications in order to get a promotion in my job. So I joined the evening course in Mercy College in New York in order to complete degree in two years � a rare opportunity to catch up with the lost time when I had to remain helplessly watching my friends going for higher education. I was 42 at the end of this long wait. I was able to get a degree in science BS in Biology in 1988.

Meanwhile, I continued my efforts to bring one of my brothers to America. If I became an American citizen it was easy to get visa for the relatives. In order to get a visa for my brother, I should bring my mother to America. A bachelor son is permitted to accompany his mother. Thus we acquired American citizenship, Baby in 1981 and I in 1986. My mother reached America in 1987. She saw the American life with the curiosity of a little child seeing the world.

My mother was with us for 10 years in New York. Baby's brother Johnson got the visa the next year. By 1989 my brother Suresh also joined us in New York. We were happy to fulfil our duty to the family when Baby's second brother also reached New York in 2000. It is a great risk to spare time for such activities in our busy official life.

Our duty was not over just by bringing our brothers to America. It was also our responsibility to find suitable jobs for them. The same process of my securing my job was applicable for them also. First education, then training followed by job. Our connection was with the hospitals. So two of them could get placement in the hospital and the other in a pharmaceutical company.

All Keralites struggle through such situations before getting established in America. It may be a paradox that most of them who struggle to give a good future to their siblings are rewarded with bitter experiences later. There are times when we wish to have peaceful moments devoid of the disputes, discords and complaints about the petty gains and losses.

Baby had been working in America since 1971. We were living in rented houses for 27 years since then. Our family friends would ask us often 'can't you have your own house at least now.? That is right, the house rent in New York is exorbitant . It is heart-breaking to spend half of our earnings on rent. It is not that we did not have any concern about it, but the truth is that we never thought of ourselves until our brothers got better living opportunities. Many friends used to comment that: the guys who have forgotten to live for ourselves.

We acquired an apartment in 1998 on bank loan. We were happy to have a place to sleep in without any hassles from the house owners, but the repayment of the loan was a big headache. The next jolt came when we were pushing through with great difficulty. Unable to bear the backache and leg pain Baby resigned her job in 2001.