Chapter 8

In Amritsar

Baby resigned her job in the St Joseph's Hospital and left America in 1976. My disturbing presence in her life and requests for love might have troubled her much. She might have thought of a change when her firm decisions started wavering. Perhaps, she wanted to hide her body and mind in a secret place. Or was it to test the resolve of somebody trying to make her a stepping stone? Or, it might be to understand the mind of the man loving her, how the love would develop without an American connection. Whatever it might be, the reason behind her flight from an Eldorado throwing away the job of a nursing supervisor, must have been me.

But the happenings were not to expectations. Baby had reached India, in Amritsar. The idea was to serve in the Salvation Army hospital as a volunteer. Her parents and other relatives could not take in such a decision. She had often shared with me her intentions to lead a life of service. The life in America would definitely guarantee good earnings. Beyond that she had very strong desire to get engaged in a service sector. That was how she reached Amritsar.

I could not remain silent when I came to know of her arrival in India. My plan was to take leave, reach Amritsar and marry Baby. But coming closer to reality, I could realise that all my calculations were going wrong. She never wanted to do anything unconventional and out of way. A member of the Orthodox Church, she nurtured orthodox ideals. In short, like Bheema who took up the arduous task of searching for the rare Kalyanasowganthikam flower to attain Panchali, my trials too were laborious to possess Baby.

Before landing in Amritsar Baby used to come home every two years. Thus she reached home thrice after we got acquainted. I could engage in lengthy talks with her when she came to Trivandrum in 1974. I was staying with a friend of mine then.

I had no interest in staying in my house after my flight to Madras. I did not like to stay there after getting a job and was able to live independently. I was with my friends always. I wandered around in parks, bars and theatres like the hero in an art film. Drinking and smoking gave colour to an otherwise monotonous life. Yet I was trustworthy and loyal to all my friends. Or else, a friend would not have allowed me to stay with him for two years.

Afterwards we met again only after two years at Amritsar. I stayed there for two days; saw the film 'Siddhartha' in the company of Baby; had food together in hotels. I had taken fish pickle exclusively for her. She was thus to know that love has such grand definitions too. By that time we had merged into one soul, though we possessed two bodies. We sauntered along the boulevards and streets of Amritsar like free birds. 'We will never get separated' was our resolution. Still getting married remained a great hurdle before us.

Our main problem was how to present our intentions to Baby's family � a great obstacle we encountered. It is not that I lacked courage to request her father for her hand. They had so much trust in me that they had entrusted me with the task to find a suitable match for her. So it would be a great betrayal on my part to the family; this pricked my conscience and prevented me from talking to them. By that time our friendship and trust had seen five years.

As for Baby, she had already declared that she did not want marriage and family. So her doubt was how she could change her mind overnight. In short, our marriage was like a puzzle difficult to solve. Thus we were in great confusion without finding any way or means to tide over the situation..